Flipping the Birds

Ok, so I lied. And, to be completely honest, I'm pretty sure I knew I was lying at the time I said it. But, to be fair, I think you all knew I was lying too. "No more Eagles postings" was not only untrue, it was foolish of me to ever expect to follow through on it. Then again, when I wrote that, there was absolutely nothing available to indicate that there were actual human beings inhabiting the uniforms of the Philadelphia Eagles. I know without a doubt in my heart that you understood my frustrations, because you felt them too.

With that said, a week of vacation and a half-week of catching up at work has changed, well, almost everything. And all I can do is ask the question that seems to be on everyone's lips:

Where the hell has this team been all season?

I was honestly dreading the game against the Cardinals, fearing we'd be the last victim of three blowouts on Thanksgiving Day. And yet, for the first time all season, McNabb showed up before kickoff, capitalizing on Arizona turnovers to jump out 14-0, never looking back. Having the pleasure of being in the Philly area for the holiday, I loved watching the Comcast post-game show with Governor Ed Rendell (which I still think is the coolest thing). All four of them were sarcastically marveling how successful this team can be when it actually uses Brian Westbrook.

And the defense shined against the Giants this past Sunday, holding them to just 211 yards total offense. And those numbers included the 70-yard garbage-time touchdown with time running out in the game. Westbrook's 203 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns were reminiscent of Marshall Faulk on those Super Bowl Ram teams. And, perhaps the most telling statistic, the Birds were 12 for 18 on third down conversions. Remember those?

And suddenly, the Eagles have an outside chance at making the playoffs. Now, I'm certainly not counting on it. In fact, I'm betting that they'll come as close as they can, just to keep us all interested, and fall just short. And then how huge will that stupid tie against Cinci be? (For the love of God, the Bengals are 1-11-1. How ridiculous is that? Almost as ridiculous as the fact that we couldn't beat them, or that Donovan didn't know that a game could end in a tie.)

But maybe, just maybe, the tie will make them a half-game better than someone and they'll sneak in, and try to be--I hate that I'm about to say this--this year's Giants.

Who knows?

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Other Musings: A new Chevy commercial talks about people suffering from "importitis," the notion that imported cars are somehow better than American-made autos. Now, I'm no doctor, but if "importitis" were a real condition, it would be an inflammation of one's import. And that just doesn't make any sense.

Chris Berman said in the Blitz this Sunday, "It's not Pepe LePew, it's Pierre Thomas." What? Seriously, if anyone reading this has any influence with ESPN whatsoever, I'm begging you, for the sake of humanity, do your part in taking the microphone away from that caricature's yapper.

I just read that the Arena Football League is going to cancel its 2009 season, perhaps folding for good. I'm sorry to hear that, but if that's the case, then the Philadelphia Soul would be the final Arena Bowl champion. Guess the league knew it couldn't top that.

Don't look now, but the Flyers are only 4 points behind the Rangers for first place in the Atlantic Division. Told you I liked this team.

And lastly, you probably heard by now that the hated Mets have signed K-Rod, still the dumbest nickname that exists. Some thoughts:

a) The Mets are the new Yankees (and the Yankees are still the Yankees)

2) The man may have broken the saves record with 62, but he blew 7 more. 48-48 is much more impressive than 62-69.

d) It doesn't matter how good a closer you have if your middle relief is an embarrassment.

IV) Wasn't Santana supposed to be the answer last year? When the Mets choke and miss the playoffs again, this signing will only make it that much sweeter.

6) Isn't it nice that the league is trying to play catch-up with us, rather than the other way around?

and g) Who cares? I've learned that water tastes better when I drink it out of my World Series Champion glass.

Les Miserables

I was going to take the advice of my friend Scott and, like last week, pretty much ignore the Eagles entirely. As people have been saying things to me like, "You must be pretty frustrated by the Eagles," my new favorite response has been, "Why, is there a football team in Philadelphia?"

But I can't ignore this. This is out of control. It is not only shameful, it is an absolute disgrace. From everything I heard about yesterday's game, and then having seen the lowlights this morning, I am so, so grateful that I didn't waste any more hours of my life watching this miserable excuse for a football team.

I can't believe Andy Reid is still calling in passes on 3rd and 1, or that his one decent move all season--benching McNabb--actually came at a time where it made the least sense, down only 10-7 at the half. I can't believe he still thinks we're okay at the wide receiver position, or that Donovan still likes to throw the ball into the middle of three defenders. And I certainly can't believe that the only points we scored all day were on the first kickoff return for a touchdown since 2001.

Simply put, I'm done with this team. No more Eagles postings. Reid needs to go, McNabb needs to go. Until then, I'm all about the Flyers (9-4 since their rough start) and Sixers (starting to figure it all out). On Thursday, the only bird I'll be focused on is the Thanksgiving turkey.

After the game, Donovan said, "At the present time, I'm not even thinking about what happens after the season is over."

I sure am.

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Other Musings:

I think I'm going to start a contest to come up with a business slogan for the Eagles. All entries welcome, and the winner may land a guest spot on the blog. My opening entry:

Reid and McNabb, Inc.: Inventing ways to lose since 1999.

The AT&T commercial where the missed call regards the alarm code? Are you kidding me? Who goes to house-sit someone's place without knowing that first? What kind of friend only plans to give that information in a phone call and doesn't leave a message? Both of them deserve to be arrested and jailed on multiple counts of utter stupidity.

Recently I found myself ready to vent about the pathetic state of giving athletes nicknames. Everybody is just their initials, or (Letter)-Rod. A guy's got a name like LaDainian and all you've got is LT? Nevermind that he's not even the first famous LT. Even worse, and a reason I started to root passionately against him, is BJ Upton. You know why he's BJ? Not because the B is Bernie or Bobby or Billy. No. It's Bossman. BJ is short for Bossman Junior. That might just be the lamest thing I've ever heard. I thought the kids who gave themselves nicknames, let alone dumb ones, were the ones who got beat up......

HOWEVER, my faith was restored when I learned the moniker for ridiculously-named Patriots running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis. They call him Law Firm. As in, that's what his name sounds like. Big fan of that one. Best since calling Kordell Stewart "Slash" because he was a QB/RB/WR/KR/PR.

And finally, in case you needed a reminder, the Phillies are still World Champs. And this week in ESPN the Mag was the first time I'd read a reference to this team. The Sports Guy, guiding us through the YouTube clip of the 1976 Battle of the Network Stars, wrote, "Gabe is mauled by his euphoric team. They do everything but pile on top of him like the 2008 Phillies." Love it.

First Look

It's not often you get to do a season "preview" a fifth of the way into the season. So I'm going to take advantage of the rare opportunity and present my Hockey Preview 2.0. Now I know you're wondering, 'Where was 1.0?" and you're very astute, as always. Hockey Preview (now 1.0) was the original, completely predictive and entirely before the season started, and it was written in my head. 2.0 allows me a fraction of hindsight to see where I may have already been wrong, to be honest about the first edition and make some correctives where necessary.

Now that that's behind us, let me begin by saying I really like this Flyers team. A lot. My friends know that I'm the ridiculous eternal optimist, always predicting at least the Cup Finals most seasons. But I do like this team.

Don't be too overly concerned by the slow start. Of course it's unfortunate, but the lesson we've learned from hockey more than in any other sport is that all you've gotta do is make the playoffs. Think about the Edmonton Oilers, the 8-seed out West back in 2006, coming within a game of winning it all. Or think about the Flyers of last season, overachieving all the way into the Conference Finals before falling to the Penguins. And this team should make the playoffs too, even if in an unspectacular fashion.

The other reason not to be too discouraged by the record is that they've lost approximately a ton of one-goal games. In just 17 games, the Fly-guys have already lost six games by one tally, many against very good clubs like two to the San Jose Sharks (overtime and shootout, respectively), and two in overtime to the Pens. What it means is that they're not far off. And with a talented, young core of players that is not going anywhere, this team could sneak through a the playoffs again and find themselves contenders in the East. They're not right now. But the season is long.

So my initial prognostication, in typical homer fashion, was that the Flyers would take the East and lose pretty badly to the Detroit Red Wings, much like in 1997. I don't think that's going to happen this season. Maybe they can get there next year, but I'd say the farthest we get is the same we did last season. And that would still be no less of an accomplishment after where this team was just two seasons ago. But the Penguins are good, and so are the Rangers, which I didn't see coming, though for many they remain a trendy pick to win it all. I thought there's no way a team that lost as much as it did could be better than they were last year. Yet another example of hockey being truly the greatest team sport.

So, the conservative pick (and probably better bet) is that it'll be a flashback to last season, with the Red Wings taking out the Penguins in an even-closer series. But don't sleep on the Sharks out West, or the Rangers, Canadiens, and, yes, Flyers in the East.

Flyers to watch out for:

Luca Sbisa, 18-year-old from Italy. This is the guy we got with the pick acquired in the Umberger-to-Columbus deal at the draft. Smart, fast, good puck-mover and transition player.

Braydon Coburn. By the end of the season, Paul Holmgren is going to look like a genius for getting this kid from Atlanta for Alexei Zhitnik. Trust me.

Oh, and Mike Richards is already starting to look like the new Brendan Shanahan. Just a pure goal-scorer.

Players to watch out for:

Alexander Semin, Washington Capitals. Think Scottie Pippen to Ovechkin's Jordan.

Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings: The latest proof that Los Angeles is a pitiful excuse for a hockey town is this kid. Combination of a slow start, an egregious lack of talent around him, and the fact that southern Californians don't understand or appreciate the game are the reasons this guy isn't yet a household name. But I think he will be. 20 goals in his first season, 32 in his second. Dude just turned 21.

Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks. I'm probably a season or two too early on this one, but this kid, the top overall pick two drafts ago, is really talented. He is a huge part of the reason they're talking playoffs in Chicago for the first time in a long time.

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Other Musings:

A tie?!?!? To the Bengals?!?!?!?!?!???? Talk about inventing new ways to lose...

(Also a tad freaky is that the last time the Eagles had a tie--eleven years ago--was on exactly the same date. Weird.)

Anyone notice that the Monday Night Football theme music is used for every commercial? And for things that haven't the slightest connection to the game. Just For Men? That ridiculous, limited-edition Brett Favre coin offer? (Pssst! He's still playing!) I even saw it used the other day in a commercial for the animated film Wall-E. Are you kidding?

Shaquille O'Neal. His foul last night on the Pistons' Rodney Stuckey looked very bad. He was called for a flagrant foul, T'd up twice, and ejected from the game. Afterwards he made the point that, "if you understand the laws of physics like I do...[which] say that a body in motion stays in motion. So if you have two objects meet in the air, the smaller object is going to fall much harder." The man may be right. But this is a man who once said: "My game's like the Pythagorean Theorem. It can't be solved." So, you understand my skepticism.

They announced the MVP today in the National League. And the winner is...oh yeah, who cares? Nothing like winning the whole thing to show you how meaningless the individual awards are.