Monday, August 4, 2008

The City of Brotherly Losers


100--count 'em--100 seasons. No championship.

I'm not talking about the Chicago Cubs. I'm talking about the city of Philadelphia.

Last night, as my friend Scott and I watched the Phils hang on by their fingernails for a big win, the desperate plea to the gods of sport was uttered again: "Can't we get just one championship? Please???"

Of all of the cities that have all four major professional sports, no city has gone longer without a championship. Forget the Soul; the last one came when the Sixers won the NBA Finals in 1983. That's 25 seasons times four sports. Ouch.

I feel a little of the pain of Cubs fans. But only a little. After all, they won six NBA titles in eight years with some guy named Jordan. Same reason I didn't feel anything for White Sox fans prior to '05. I didn't feel bad for Boston before 2004 cause the Patriots had just won two of the previous three Super Bowls (whether legitimately or not is another question altogether). I do occasionally feel bad for Cleveland fans, but a) they don't have all four sports, and b) it's not my fault they chose to live in Cleveland. That place made me pine for the time I got lost in Scranton.

Sooner or later, if only based on the laws of probability, this has to end. Doesn't it? The curse of Billy Penn isn't real...right? This can't last forever...can it?

Perhaps Mrs. Bucket, from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, has the answer to our Charlie.

Charlie: But I am different. I want it more than any of them.
Mrs. Bucket: Charlie, you'll get your chance. One day things will change.
Charlie: When? When will they change?
Mrs. Bucket: Probably when you least expect it.
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Other Musings: Did you see the play from Saturday night where the Astros tied up the Mets? It was straight out of "Major League." Special thanks to Kimmie Malecka for finding the link. Click here to watch. A sweet play, made sweeter by the fact that it was against the Mets, and made yet sweeter cause it was against Billy Wagner.

Did you know that Bud Light has "superior drinkability"? Pardon my French, but what the hell does that mean? It's more drinkable than other beers? Come on, people, you made up a word! The characters of Mad Men are somewhere smiling. Or crying. Or both.